Déjà vu

I've been here before.
I've felt like this before.
This is no strange feeling to me.
Life comes in circles to me: I'm always at the beginning of this never-ending infinite. Living through the same Goddamn thing that makes me feel totally uncapable, unfit.
I should've ended this a long time ago. I can't though. Not because of myself, but because of others that might pay the debt for my sins, my mistakes.
I want peace. But there's this turmoil inside of me that keeps me tethering at the edge of a cliff. One day, I might cave in. One day, I might fall to oblivion.
I won't be even a ghost or memory in my story. I'll be erased.

Done

I'm lying here awake in a dark room. There's no one else. There's me and my thoughts.

Most of my life, I've spent this way: by myself in a dark room. That's what it feels like to be  utterly and painfully alone. 

When you see yourself in this position, you start to wonder what is wrong. The answer can only be found within ourselves. And, it might not be a good one. That's the case.
I look at myself in the mirror and I can't  see anything eye-catching. I look deep into my eyes to reach my soul and it's empty. The light I should see inside of me, it's long faded, extinguished, gone...
What do I feel? I just feel pain. So much pain, I can't even start to describe it. I just wish to stop this pain. I just wish to seize to exist. I'm done living. I'm done lying. I'm done. I'm finished.